Gunky and Funky

I'm getting pretty tired of the constant post-nasal drip that I have been dealing with for the last three weeks.  The sore throat comes and goes as well.  Then there's the general 'blech' feeling after taking various handfuls of pills throughout the day. The headaches have been less bothersome recently (crossing fingers here).

I have still not noticed any physical improvements yet.   However, I am still cautiously optimistic.  I appreciate the fact that it should take at least a full two months of antibiotic treatment to rid my body of the spirochetes.  I do not expect that their mere death with reverse all the damage that they have been the root cause of many annoying health issues.  The first things that I hope to notice is a reduction in my inflammation response and/or an increase in my general energy at that point or soon after.

I will probably modify my diet for a few weeks to something akin to a mild and gradual detox regimen, to help get any remaining Lyme toxins out of my system along with any crud leftover from taking strong antibiotics for a long period of time.  Late Fall and early Winter are not fabulous times for getting fresh fruits and vegetables.  However, some of the larger grocery stores do seem to have a good selection of fresh organic (carbon-heavy shipments from around the world) and frozen organic produce to pick from.  If I go off the antibiotics right after Thanksgiving, the timing will be challenging with all sorts of holiday food lying about.

My mood in the last week has been kind of funky.  I am mostly a positive person these days.  However, life's challenges do get to me eventually.  Dealing with chronic health issues is a big psychological burden of course.  Some personal challenges have also been eating at me this week (lingering financial challenges being caused by medical expenses, parenting doldrums watching my son drop out of college - perhaps for good, mediocre social life, feeling like my current home is an albatross in my life that I can't get rid of, feeling alone in all of it).

This week should be interesting.  I'm only working through Wednesday.  I've taken off Thursday and Friday to commemorate my 50th birthday.  I plan on getting a massage and generally pampering/indulging 'me' next weekend.  On Saturday I hope to meetup with some acquaintances/friends for lunch and arcade time in the earlier part of the day, and then a group of us are meeting up for a screening of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".  Most of us are planning on dressing for the event, and we'll of course have props with us to interact with the flick.

While I will appreciate the company of the dozen or so people who will be sharing my birthday with me, none of them are 'close friends' or 'family'.  I find myself really missing having regular interaction with people that I feel a strong bond with.  I grew up an only child with a parent who had no real family ties of her own.  When I went to college and met some good friends, I felt like I was building my own kind of family.  Then I married into a family who seemed to embrace me wholeheartedly.    I also picked up a few good friends during the early part of my career.  I chose to move away from my college friends (and work buddies) for a number of reasons.After my divorce, my ex's family washed their hands of me.  The friends I have made since the move are a diverse and busy group of people who I see irregularly.  Good people, all, but we don't have as much invested in each other as my group of college friends and I do.  Part of me wants to move to be closer to some of the folks from that group.  But another part of me says that I should figure out a way to cultivate deeper friendships in the region that I want to continue to live in.

I think that 'big birthday' is adding to my funky mood.  I plan to post something just on my feelings about turning fifty later this week.    I'd love to know if anyone is reading this tale or if it's wholly an archival exercise never to viewed again.

Ever get tired of same s**t different day?

The title of this post can be applied to so many aspects of my life. The most irritating quarters of my existence that apply here are my chronic pain issues, my job, and parenting a teenager.

I remember watching a movie years ago where a couple was having the same argument that they'd had dozens of times. The guy looked at the woman and basically said, "Do I really need to be here for this?" I SO get that! Couldn't I just hire an android to do my walk-ons?

School would be different if I cared about it at all this week. Sadly, I've been too utterly exhausted in the evenings this week to give a rat's butt. I'm doing the required reading, but I'm barely showing up to the group discussions (which I've been a major contributor to in the past few weeks). I guess it's just my turn to check out.

I have a pretty busy weekend coming up. Saturday includes a car inspection and an acupuncture appointment. Sunday involves several back-to-back church activities. And, though Monday is a holiday, I think I will dedicate most of the day to school work or gardening. If it rains, maybe I'll play at my crafts' table. It might be the only thing to pull me out of the miserable funk that I'm in. (That, or the Lottery.)

Oh, and 'good news, bad news', my brother leaves for Paris for three years on Saturday. I'm both happy and sad for the occasion. [ and a little jealous ]

Vacation is over a month away. Lots of land mines between here and there.