Out of touch, but not without things on my mind

I really intend to post more often, but life gets in the way. I don't want it to. I want to have time to write what's on my mind. Maybe I'll just make a sprint down the list of things and see if anything comes of it:

1. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. However, I didn't enjoy it as much this year because I was too distracted with other commitments and goings on in my life.
   
2. It's national novel writing month, and I'm depressed that I'm not doing something with that.
   
3. My college counselor contacted me to find out if I still wanted to pursue my degree in Applied Health Care Technology. I do. Unfortunately I have two things standing in my way right now. First, money. A number of other financial commitments have come up since I first became interested in the program (family related). Second, I'm having a hard time keeping pace with all the intellectual demands of my new job, so I don't feel like I can spare the brain cells on school right now.
   
4. I'm trying to figure out a long standing family issue. I took the first step, but I don't know where I want to go next. Uncertainty has never been a friend of mine.
   
5. After getting on a plane for the second time (fourth if you count both directions) this year, I'm starting to feel better about air travel again. I'm beginning to revisit some long standing desires to see other countries. High on my list is Iceland. The juxtaposition of glaciers and volcanos fascinates me.
   
6. I'm really looking forward to a big party that I'm throwing for some former coworkers. I'm also nervous as all get out about hosting such an event and all that could possibly go wrong. Me? Type A? YUP!
   
7. Physical therapy for my back is moving VERY slowly. I worry that I'm not really making any real progress. I don't think I could stand to live with this pain for another twenty to forty years.
   
8. I've lost a total of about 55 pounds since the first of the year. While that is very cool, I would really like to drop another 15. I don't know if I have it in me to do it. At least not permanently. I also worry that I could gain all the weight back.
   
9. I really don't like the way the world is going. I plan on voting on Tuesday, if only to vote against the status quo. I don't know that it'll make any difference, but it's got to be more effective than screaming into the wind or sitting in the dark and getting drunk.
   

Hopefully I'll be able to devote some more focused attention to a posting soon. However, this month is EXTREMELY busy for my household. At the very least, maybe I'll make some short glib posts during the chaos.

Dancing in the dark

Monday night I went to see Bare Naked Ladies with a couple of friends from my old job. We met for dinner first. It was a very pleasant evening. The show was great. BNL are great musicians and very humorous. They adapt their show to the location and the audience quite well.

Towards the end of the show, I noticed that a number of fans had gathered behind the floor seating so they could dance. I enjoyed watching these fans surrender their inhibitions to dance, albeit in the dark. I'm sure that most of them had a few (overpriced) beers in them to help them on their way. However, I had to admire their free unconscious enjoyment of the music. None of them were stellar dancers. None of them were overly 'beautiful' people. But there they all were, unselfconsciously giving into the rhythm of music they loved.

I dance when I'm home by myself. If I dance when anyone else is around, I make sure that I do it for comic effect.

I envy the dancers in the dark. I don't think I could have gotten up and danced within sight of the friends I was with. But, it really did look liberating.

Random Thoughts At An Airport - Part 2

My final day of training let out very early. I called a cab to get me back to the hotel, where I picked up my bag and caught a ride in the courtesy van to the airport. I arrived just after 2pm, though my flight wasn't scheduled to depart until 9:40 pm.

When I arrived at the ticket counter, the agent offered me the option of catching the 4:40 flight on "stand by". I don't think I've ever flown "stand by" before. I really wanted to go home, so I said "yes". Who wouldn't want to skip five extra hours at the airport.

The 'opportunity' may turn out to have been a mistake. My bags will definitely be going on the earlier flight. I may never see them again. Also, who knows where I could end of sitting if I even can get on the plane. I hate air travel with a passion. I don't want any parts of a window seat. I am definitely not cut out for the responsibility of sitting in the 'emergency' row (no one on the plane wants the person who is most freaked out by air travel to be the one in charge of the emergency egress). I have a tendancy towards motion sickness, so I hate sitting near the rear of the plane or over the wings where there can be more vibration.

Just in case I would be flying sooner rather than later, I prepared myself pharmacologically. I took Dramamine for my motion sickness. I took a Valium to calm me down a bit. Then, about two hours later, I took a very mild muscle relaxant because my back was spasming and the Valium wasn't really working.

Perhaps I should be on the TSA's "no fly" list for all my traveling idiosyncracies.

All week, my IBS has been at issue, so the added stress of dealing with all the drama of air travel has got me on the verge of another attack. I took some of my meds to try to stave one off. The last thing I need is an attack while I'm on a plane, or trying to board a plane, or even trying to get the heck off a plane.

Dulles Airport is kind of a train wreck, pardon the mixing of transportation metaphors. The main terminal is for ticketing and security screening only. The lines were outrageous, and the agents were not overly friendly. I can't blame them. The number of people they have to deal with every day is incredible. And, most people, like me, are pretty stupid about air travel.

There was a sign at the beginning of the ticketing line that said that if your luggage weighed more than 50 pounds, you could be charged $50. My luggage weighed more than 50 pounds before I picked up the two hefty binders from my training this week. I pulled the binders out of my main bag and repacked them in a zippered tote, in hopes that the stricture was for each bag. I was stressing about that when I got to the counter. Then, the agent asked me for a credit card to complete my ticketing. I didn't want to swipe my debit card, and I didn't think it would work anyway since MIT had purchased my ticket. Then, the agent said I just needed the confirmation number from my itinerary. However, I had lost track of my itinerary during my multiple repackings today. See, I'm such a travel idiot, it never occured to me that I would still need the stupid thing in order to fly home.

Earlier in the week I finished reading the Ann Tyler book I had brought with me (excellent read, by the way). On Thursday night I bought and read a romance novel (yes, I am embarrassed by this selection of reading material). So I didn't have a book to read while waiting. If I didn't have to listen for my name to be called for the whole 'stand by' thing, I could slip my MP3 player on and listen to one of the multiple recordings that I have going on there. I did pick up the current issue of The New Yorker.

I cannot get over the number of people who are addicted to their cell phones. There was a guy behind me in the eticketing line who made at least three different calls to family members back home while we made our way up to the counter. There was another guy who felt an urgent need to leave a voice mail for a business colleague while we were on the two minute shuttle ride between the main and A terminals. Over the course of two hours in the waiting area for the flight, I got to listen to five different people make at least a dozen distinct calls to friends, family, or business associates. I stopped counting the number of people I saw coming to or coming back from planes who were yapping on their phones.

ARGH! I hate cell phones.

Even I made a quick call to my husband's office and left him a voice mail saying that I might be coming in early because of my standby flight. But, at least my call was directly related to my travel needs. I wasn't trying to get some last minute business in, or trying to occupy myself while in the airport, or making sure that I hadn't missed some critical opportunity in my life while I'd been unable to use my cell phone on the plane.

All the planes were arriving or departing very late due to high winds on the east coast. The "4:40" flight turned into a "5:50" flight, which was a lot better than delay that most people had to put up with or the "9:30" flight I was supposed to be on. I'd never flown 'stand by' before. I was very anxious to get home. As they made the final boarding announcement for the plane they called out some passenger names, which I couldn't fully make out. I thought maybe one of them had been mine, so I went up to the gate. Though they hadn't called my name, they did give me a boarding pass and told me to hurry to the plane. After a bit of confusion about where to sit, I settled myself into a seat. Then, I took advantage of the fact that cell phones could be used while the plane door was still open. I quickly called my husband I told him that I was on a plane and that I would see him in ninety minutes or less.

Oddly enough, as much as I despise air travel, I was extremely grateful to get on that plane and to be taking off for home.

10/20/2006

Random Thoughts At An Airport - Part 1

My husband drove me to the airport today. I suggested that he just dump me at the curb, but he wanted to come in with me and have something to eat or a coffee. I think he did it for two reasons. First, he's going to miss me (though he's already admitted that he's looking forward to having our king sized bed to himself). Second, he knows how much I hate flying, so he probably hoped that coming in with me would help me stay calm and manage the stress better. We checked my bag and had a light lunch in a restaurant next to a security check point. It was nice. After lunch, he went on his way, and I got in line for security screening.

The security screening process was a bit more thorough than when I last traveled in April. The security staff tested my shoes for ignitable chemicals, probably because of my custom orthotics. I also was the recipient of a random body pat down. The keyboard that I typed this on, an AlphaSmart 3000, had to be sent through the x-ray machine a second time, to verify that it did not contain an explosive device.

While in line for the screening, one of the security staff asked me if I had any gels, pastes, creams, or liquids in my carry ons. These things are currently permissible in small quantities. To make the screening process easier I made sure to put all that stuff in my checked bag. As I was leaving the checkpoint area I noticed a sign that said that lighters and matches were not allowed on the plane, even in checked baggage.

My stomach sank a little bit. I had packed a small jar candle and a book of matches in my checked bag. I don't know how closely they x-ray those bags. However, I really didn't want to give the TSA any reason to go poking around in my bags. I felt like I had to put my TENS unit in the checked bag, though it makes me nervous to let it out of possession when traveling since I rely on it so much and it would be expensive to replace. However, I doubt that the TSA would let me bring a device than can deliver a mild electric shock to a person onto a plane. C'est la vie. I'm curious to see if my bag has a "opened for inspection" tag on it when I go to claim it at the other end.

I was in line behind a well dressed largely built woman. She did almost everything correctly. Shoes on the conveyor belt. Laptop out of its bag. Liquids (etc.) in a right-sized ziploc bag, out where the bag could be inspected. Unfortunately, she must have missed the sign dictating that all jackets and blazers must be removed and put on the belt as well. One of the security team asked her to remove her blazer. She complied, albeit with an air of quiet unhappiness. Beneath her black blazer, the woman was wearing a white tank top. Without the blazer, her large chubby arms were exposed for all the world to ridicule. While I never reached this woman's proportions, I understood how she felt. When you are overweight, most people try to dress to take attention away from their sin of girth. Black has always been a highly occurring color in my wardrobe. For years, I would only wear shorts in public if the thermometer was over 90 degrees. And, most of my clothes were more than comfortably baggy. I think I thought that people wouldn't KNOW how fat I was if they couldn't really make out the true outlines of my form. These days, a lot of my clothes fit, if not snugly than merely comfortably. It's now rare for me to wear something a size or two larger than my true size.

10/15/2006

Perhaps I have some right-wing leanings

Warning. This opinion may offend some of you.

As a young adult, my political leanings were solidly with the Democratic Party. Over the years, I have adopted a more centrist/moderate viewpoint. For most social issues, I am more inclined to agree with Democrats. When it comes to government spending, I have grown more conservative.

One issue I have always been relatively right-winged about is capital punishment. Anyone who has shown blattant disregard for human life, particularly the cold, premeditated, snuffing out of innocent lives, does not deserve any semblance of mercy, in my opinion. Case in point, cult leader Jeffrey Lundgren gunned down a family of five over a religious difference of opinion. Now, Lundgren has joined a suit of several death row inmates claiming that lethal injection, particularly in their physical situations, would amount to cruel and inhuman punishment. Lundgren says that his diabetes and obessity would make lethal injection a particularly lengthy and painful process for him.

Fine. I hate to sound heartless, but I have a solution: guillotine. Make sure the blade is nice and sharp. Offer him any substance of his choosing to relax him prior to the scheduled event. Alcohol, muscle relaxants, or even a nice big bucket of chicken from KFC.

Frankly, while I agree with the Consitutional sentiment prohibiting "cruel and inhuman punishment", there are dozens of ways to kill someone relatively quickly with little pain. If lethal injection is problematic, offer the condemned the opportunity to pick their preferred method of "quick" sentence implementation.

Some might ask for a nice bullet to the back of the head. That would also work for me. Maybe I'll offer my opinions on gun control at some point.