As I previously mentioned here, I've been waking in the wee hours with a headache that may be related to an increase in teeth grinding. Then again, it may be yet a byproduct of the spirochete die-off. This morning, I woke to the worse one yet. I hadn't taken an antihistamine last night before bed, like I've been trying to do lately, in case the "cold" symptoms are because of allergies. So, I took one then. Headache is still here a bit. I need to get on the exercise bike, but I've been trying to wait out the headache. Getting your heart rate up when you have a headache is a bad idea. I've done it. Not enjoyable in the least.
I didn't have any particular plans for today, since I knew being in training last week was going to take a lot out of me. Now I feel like I need to do something 'productive', even though I really am still exhausted. Hopefully, I can find some small-energy endeavors to appease my 'productivity gods'. I'm already feeling blue enough right now (because of K's revelation that he may not go back to college). If I go to bed tonight without feeling like I've somehow improved the state of my home, I will REALLY get depressed. Maybe that's inevitable at this juncture. A lot has been going on lately that has not made me feel good about the universe.
Yes, yes. I know. Let me pull out my mantras. I have a great paying job doing (mostly) stuff that I enjoy. People at work seem to even respect me and seek my input (sometimes to my chagrin
Unfortunately, it is difficult to overcome the wiring of suffering. I try not to wallow in the negative aspects of my life. Though it seems that anytime some fresh unexpected disappointment enters, it reawakens the others who preceded it. I suppose it's like adopting a new crying baby when you just barely convinced your other young children to go to bed a reasonable hours and not to continuously cry through the night seeking your attention.
There's another reason to find some way to be 'productive' around the house. So long as I am 'doing' something, it's easier to ignore the crying children in my head.