Headaches are us?

I used to get tons of headaches, sometimes even migraines.  A few years ago the frequency dramatically decreased.  Eventually I put it together that my headaches decreased in frequency and intensity with the onset of menopause.  So, yay!

As I previously mentioned here, I've been waking in the wee hours with a headache that may be related to an increase in teeth grinding.  Then again, it may be yet a byproduct of the spirochete die-off.  This morning, I woke to the worse one yet.    I hadn't taken an antihistamine last night before bed, like I've been trying to do lately, in case the "cold" symptoms are because of allergies.  So, I took one then.  Headache is still here a bit.  I need to get on the exercise bike, but I've been trying to wait out the headache.  Getting your heart rate up when you have a headache is a bad idea.  I've done it.  Not enjoyable in the least.

I didn't have any particular plans for today, since I knew being in training last week was going to take a lot out of me.  Now I feel like I need to do something 'productive', even though I really am still exhausted.  Hopefully, I can find some small-energy endeavors to appease my 'productivity gods'.  I'm already feeling blue enough right now (because of K's revelation that he may not go back to college).  If I go to bed tonight without feeling like I've somehow improved the state of my home, I will REALLY get depressed.  Maybe that's inevitable at this juncture.  A lot has been going on lately that has not made me feel good about the universe. 

Yes, yes.  I know.  Let me pull out my mantras.  I have a great paying job doing (mostly) stuff that I enjoy.  People at work seem to even respect me and seek my input (sometimes to my chagrin ).  I am no longer in a toxic relationship.  My son is healthy.  I just closed out a pile of (partially foolish and partially unavoidable) consumer debt that was a drain on my well being in numerous ways.  I have a comfortable home that I can afford to be in. I am better off in many ways than most people on the planet.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to overcome the wiring of suffering.  I try not to wallow in the negative aspects of my life.  Though it seems that anytime some fresh unexpected disappointment enters, it reawakens the others who preceded it.  I suppose it's like adopting a new crying baby when you just barely convinced your other young children to go to bed a reasonable hours and not to continuously cry through the night seeking your attention.

There's another reason to find some way to be 'productive' around the house.  So long as I am 'doing' something, it's easier to ignore the crying children in my head.