Who gets to see you naked?

Last weekend, during my marathon of shopping, I was treated to a unique dressing room experience. As I entered the dressing room area, the second room from the entry way contained a husband and wife with the door open. The husband was buckling his pants. The wife was holding a pile of clothes. Not to be a prude or anything, I backed out and checked my surroundings. The dressing room did not stipulate that it was for any particular gender. However, the area was in the midst of a women's clothing section. The couple were foreigners, so I chalked it up to some cultural difference and waltz past them to a distant dressing room and took care of my business. On the other hand, what was with the open door??? Geesh.

A few days later, I got another perspective on the title of this entry. I was working out at the gym near my office. One of the fitness instructors came in with a younger friend with a severe crew cut. The friend looked soft featured, but I thought I detected a slight trace of dark facial hair on the upper lip. So, I chalked up the soft features to youth. I finished up and went to the locker room to shower and adorn fresh clothing. As I was walking off towards the shower, the fitness instructor and her friend with the crew cut came in, who was referred to by a feminine name shortly thereafter. I mentally shrugged and focused on my business.

Yesterday, I got into an interesting conversation with an older gentleman at my local YMCA as we enjoyed the oversized hot tub near the pool. He told me the story of how
another local YMCA used to have a hot tub in the men's locker room only. This was back in the early 1960s when the Y was still pretty oriented towards it's "M" identity. Women could join, but were not catered to since there was a YWCA in town (among other reasons). A female member of the YMCA played racketball regularly with her boyfriend. The two of them were a bit frustrated that she could not enjoy the hot tub, so he eventually invited her to come on into the men's locker room and make use of the ammenities with him. Well, the men in the locker room were a bit shocked, but not too shocked to know when they, in turn, were being presented with a new ammenity (since said female was not modest, and entered the tub in the buff like the other bathers). It took several months for the young woman to encounter someone who was more interested in his own modesty than the free showing. The Y reprimanded the woman and her boyfriend and asked them to abide by the gender limitations of the club from then on.

I'm sure most of you have encountered the phenomenon of "concert rest room". I'm talking about the situation that arises during a sold out concert, when the line in the women's room is so long that some brazen women give up and just go into the much less crowded men's room. Most guys don't complain about this. Heck, some don't even take much notice of it.

So, who should get to see you naked? Should you only be naked to your spouse and your doctor? What about at the gym or in a public rest room? Why should we be concerned if a stranger of the opposite sex sees us naked? Are we concerned that they might find us attractive? Worse, are we concerned that they might NOT find us attractive? In either case, did it occur to you that some of the folks who share your gender, and your locker/rest room, might be attracted to or revolted by you as a sexual being? Big deal, they're equipped the way you are! That doesn't mean that they can't be 'warm for your form'.

Maybe the separation of genders in public low-clothing facilities is borne out of a social belief that male heterosexuals simply can't be trusted not to oggle or drool, or constantly assess, a naked (or nearly naked) female form. This oggling makes many females uncomfortable. A second factor could be that males appreciate some "down time" from females, whether they are heterosexual or homosexual. (I can appreciate this particular need myself at times.)

I don't think I'm advocating unisex rest rooms and changing facilities. At least, not yet. As a society, I think we have a long way to go before that would ever be comfortable for the majority. But, considering how far we've come I think we either need to make public facilities unisex with full-modesty provisions (individual stalls for dressing, so it doesn't matter who is sharing the facility with you) or unisex with no-modesty provisions (as in - get over yourself, and mind your own business). It makes as much sense as anything any more.