Showing posts with label chronic pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chronic pain. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Cross purpose pharmaceuticals

In order to combat my Lyme disease, I am taking two hefty doses of an antibiotic that must be taken with food.  If you don't have a good amount of food in your stomach it is highly likely that you will vomit.  In addition, I have a powerful NSAID that I should take several times a day that has the same warnings.  That one I have actually experienced twice.  The first time because I assumed that the warning was on the same level as taking Ibuprofen, which I can gobble up on an empty stomach most of the time without any ill effects.  The resulting nausea and vomiting from my mistake taught be a lesson about heading warnings on prescription pharmaceuticals.  The second time it happened it wasn't because I had taken the pill on an empty stomach.  I learned that "with food" meant a SIGNIFICANT amount of food. 

Part of the disease symptoms that I have to deal with is my constant sleepiness, regardless of how much sleep I get.  I went through a sleep study in July that showed that there is nothing abnormal, or 'non restful', with my sleep patterns.  I was labeled with Idiopathic Hypersomnolence (meaning:  no known cause sleepiness).  To fight the sleepiness I started taking Adderall.  It's an amphetamine.  Amphetamines sap your appetite.  Part of me was looking forward to taking this in hopes that it would help me shed some pounds.  Unfortunately, I'm taking several drugs that are at cross purposes.

The Adderall diminishes my appetite.  I can easily skip breakfast when I'm taking it.  On the other hand, I need to eat a reasonably solid breakfast and then dinner to take two of my other drugs.  I have cut down on my snacking quite a bit since starting the Adderall, so I have dropped a couple of pounds.  However, it does kind of stink that I can't take full advantage of one of it's side effects to REALLY drop some weight.

By the way, when I get ready for bed, one of the drugs I take is a muscle relaxant to minimize the stiffness and potential for muscle spasms that can happen when I sleep.  I have actually injured myself, causing inflammation that takes days to weeks to recover from (see yesterday's post about injury recovery).  Usually the Adderall is out of my system by bed time, but the muscle relaxant is at cross purposes to it as well.

"Better living through chemistry" right?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

What is your pain level right now?

As a chronic pain sufferer, I am used to answering the following question from medical providers on a regular basis:
On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level right now?
Days like today present a quandary.   It depends on the absolute definition of the word "pain".  (No, no, not "is" or "sex" or "It!") 

Nineteen months ago I slipped on a patch of ice in front of my house and severely damaged the soft tissue in my left shoulder.  Scans showed that there were no tears to any ligaments, tendons, or other mappable structures.  After six months of physical therapy we decided that it was as 'back' as it was going to get.  Unfortunately, this did not leave me with a healthy shoulder.

Part of my chronic health issue over the last seven years has been chronic inflammation.  If I sustain any sort of injury, it seems that I will be plagued by that injury on some level until my dying day.  The left shoulder is a prime example of this scenario.  Every day it at least aches to a certain degree.  Some days it straight out hurts.  Even so, in comparison to other pains that I have struggled with, the chronic shoulder pain rarely merits more than a 7.  However, the shoulder situation is about more than just "pain". 

Usually there is more of a sense of discomfort.  The joint feels swollen in some way.  It can feel better to hold my arm straight up, especially if I bend at the elbow and rest the weight of the arm on my head (nice image, right?  I've gotten some seriously odd stares at the office over this.)  There must be some swelling involved since, at its worse, my left hand feels a bit 'off' and my bicep may feel achy as well.  However, it's not all inflammation since my prescription NSAID only dampens the discomfort a little.  And, it's not strictly pain either, since taking the max dose of my non-opiate prescription pain relievers barely warrants a footnote when the shoulder is really acting up.  Usually both drugs together can  tune the discomfort down a notch or two so that I can get through the day.

USUALLY.  Today is not one of those days. 

If I were to step back and analyze "the pain" in my shoulder right now, it probably would warrant a six.  Right there, in the front of the shoulder.  SIX.  Six isn't that bad, right?

Except it's not just that spot where it definitely "hurts".  It's about all the discomfort in the surrounding tissue, into my bicep, and down to my hand.  THEN, there's the fact that my pelvic girdle is a bit achy today, as is my low back.  On top of that I know that when I get up from this chair, both thighs are going demand my attention with their multiple maddening small to midsized complaints.

It's all additive.  I logically know that all of it together is not as distracting and intolerable as the worse pain that I've ever experienced (tie between gallbladder attack and labor).  Still, when the dozens of bits conspire together you want to be able to quantify the sense that you can barely catch your breath from moment to moment for want of screaming.  Mostly, it's just below that or I wouldn't have been able to write all of this.  Though I did have to stop and refocus myself too many times to count.  Each time I take several deep breaths and try to dispel the cacophony of all those co-conspirators bouncing around in my head.

This is just one example of what it's like to live with chronic pain.  I am so glad that every day is not quite this bad.  Today is one of those days where I contemplate taking up prayer to a deity that I cannot believe in.  Oh, how I wish I could.  If I could pray, I would pray that the Lyme diagnosis and treatment will at least keep the discomfort from reaching this volume  ever again.  I would like to believe that I could make all (or at least most) of the pain go away.  But my skeptical wiring won't even let me hope for something that seems too much like a fairytale.

If you see me and I seem in good spirits, do not assume that it means that I am not in pain.  Also, if I am not showing it, do not ask me about my pain.  When I look fine, I'm doing my best not to think about it.  So please, please, don't remind me.  If I look miserable or distracted, feel free to ask me how I am doing.  Or if I need to talk about it and I trust you enough, I will bring it up. 

The last thing I want is to have my pain define my relationship with others.  Days like today it is hard for even me to remember this, but I am more than this pain that I live with.  Every day.  Every hour.  And sometimes, every minute ... to minute ... to minute.




Monday, November 17, 2008

Mixed success on the diet

I have been on a vegan, highly organic, diet for the last two weeks. I have also been gluten-free. What grains I did allow myself were whole and organic (mostly brown rice). And while I did not totally give up caffeine, I got it down to green (usually organic) tea in the a.m. only. Could I have been more restrictive in my eating habits? Sure. Could I have kept it up for any length of time? No way. I got as restrictive as I thought I could keep to.

I embarked on this quest in an attempt to fight chronic pain and inflammation, some digestive issues, and possibly as a means to lose a few pounds. I guess two out of three isn't bad.

I have lost about ten pounds in two weeks, and my tummy and I are on much better terms. Unfortunately, my pain situation has not changed much. Right now I am in enough pain to want to put my fist through a wall, just to have something else to think about.

I plan to stick with the vegan/organic thing for a few more days. I have enjoyed some serious tummy benefits, so I will probably fall back to this after Thanksgiving in one form or another.

But, to my fellow pain sufferers out there who were hoping for abatement through dietary restriction, it didn't do me a lick of good. Maybe you'd have better luck. It just didn't work for me.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Needles and pins

For the last couple of weeks, I have been trying acupuncture as a means of dealing with my chronic back pain. I think it may finally be helping somewhat. It's not a miracle cure, that's for sure. But, there does seem to be some small improvement today after the fourth treatment. I don't know if it will be worthwhile to continue unless the rate of improvement increases.

I did have my pain-status check-up on Thursday. As I expected, my doctor did not have any new tricks up his sleeve. He just wanted to lay eyes on me, since he's still giving me drugs (even though the drugs only take the edge off of the really bad days). I did get him to talk a bit about the possibility that I could have a systemic issue going on (Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Lyme Disease, rheumatoid arthritis, blah blah blah). He said that Fibromyalgia is a catch-all diagnosis when you have a group of symptoms, and they can't find anything concrete wrong with you. (Gee ... um, that sounds about right.) We also talked about how most of these systemic diseases do not have good records for effective treatments. (I am shocked.)

All the same, he agreed that it might be worthwhile for me to have an A NA blood test which can be useful in diagnosing several autoimmune diseases. So, I happily put out my arm at the lab for the blood test. (This is saying something, since I absolutely despise having blood drawn.)

And the struggle continues!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mother's Little Helper - time for a reassessment

For chronic pain sufferers, medical 'science' is an utter crap shoot. The efficacy of many treatments are short lived, if effective at all.

Over the years, I have built up quite the tolerance to most muscle relaxants and OTC pain medications. My internist specializes in chronic pain. However, he is not big into pharmaceuticals (to most, this may seem like an oxymoron, of sorts). When I first started seeing him, he gave me mail-refillable (3 months at a time) prescriptions on most of my drugs, but month-by-month on one of them (Soma). Over the last six months, he has changed over all my prescriptions to month-by-month. Last week, his office called and told me that they had filled my request for Soma, but that the doctor would like me to come in for an office visit.

If I were purely drug-seeking, this turn of events would bother me. However, I have known for quite some time that the drugs really aren't helping me that much. For the most part, they take the edge off an intolerable situation, but are nearly ineffectual in relieving my pain. I really would LOVE a new answer. Perhaps some treatment has evolved over the last two years that we haven't tried yet?

I really want the doctor to give me a new treatment. If he tells me to go to physical therapy again, I'm going to introduce him to some of my ruder vocabulary. I have done P.T., off and on, for the last five years. I exercise to some degree nearly every day. I doubt that surgery is really the answer for me, at this point. I do not have a disc problem, and my spinal stenosis is minor in comparison to most people who end up under the knife. I do have some stability issues, but surgery probably would not address the bulk of my issues. Also, NSAIDs really do not provide much relief for me at this point (and bring their own complications that my lower digestive system does not deal well with ... there just isn't enough fiber in the universe to compensate.)

Do I do things that I shouldn't do? YES! (Example: Over the last year and a half, I have resorted to drinking alcohol to get to sleep six nights out of seven.... which has put about twenty pounds back on my ever-widening butt. Plus, I KNOW that it's not good for my overall health.)

This weekend has been particularly painful because my left knee has decided to flare up in a big way. I have sciatica down my right leg right now. My left knee is so painful that I am walking with a slow painful limp. My lower back is inflamed nearly to its full-on peak. My upper right shoulder blade is starting to spasm. My hips (the frontal protrusions of my pelvic bones) are a bit tender as well. So, basically, if it can go wrong ... it's going wrong.

I've looked into a number of diagnoses myself. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Fibromyalgia. Rheumatoid Arthritis. Lyme disease. Nothing is spot on. Besides, my chronic back problems are directly traceable to an injury sustained just over fifteen years ago. Most of these diseases have no injury-based relationship.

So, I'm guessing that my wide-spread system chronic pain is psychosomatic. Right? [ Though part of me sees a strong potential with Fibromyalgia since I have IBS and insomnia, big time, in addition to having over half the tender points that usually categorize the disease. Sadly, the medical profession says you need to have eleven tender points to be diagnosed, and I miss that by one. OTOH, being diagnoses with Fibromyalgia doesn't REALLY get one anywhere since there is no cure and the treatments are usually marignally effective for most sufferers.]

I have an appointment with my M.D. on Thursday afternoon. I fully expect to walk out of the appointment with either fewer prescriptions or new, useless, prescriptions. (Or, in handcuffs after punching the man out for suggesting some of the same pointless crap that I have been through already.)

Sorry gang, I truly hate to bitch and moan. I'll share with you the lyrics to my current favorite retro tune by the Rolling Stones

"Lifes just much too hard today,
I hear evry mother say
The pusuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mothers little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old"

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Ever get tired of same s**t different day?

The title of this post can be applied to so many aspects of my life. The most irritating quarters of my existence that apply here are my chronic pain issues, my job, and parenting a teenager.

I remember watching a movie years ago where a couple was having the same argument that they'd had dozens of times. The guy looked at the woman and basically said, "Do I really need to be here for this?" I SO get that! Couldn't I just hire an android to do my walk-ons?

School would be different if I cared about it at all this week. Sadly, I've been too utterly exhausted in the evenings this week to give a rat's butt. I'm doing the required reading, but I'm barely showing up to the group discussions (which I've been a major contributor to in the past few weeks). I guess it's just my turn to check out.

I have a pretty busy weekend coming up. Saturday includes a car inspection and an acupuncture appointment. Sunday involves several back-to-back church activities. And, though Monday is a holiday, I think I will dedicate most of the day to school work or gardening. If it rains, maybe I'll play at my crafts' table. It might be the only thing to pull me out of the miserable funk that I'm in. (That, or the Lottery.)

Oh, and 'good news, bad news', my brother leaves for Paris for three years on Saturday. I'm both happy and sad for the occasion. [ and a little jealous ]

Vacation is over a month away. Lots of land mines between here and there.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The snow wuss

This morning, I considered taking a mental health day. I haven't been sleeping very well and I've been under a lot of stress regarding my 'big project'. But, I have this silly work ethic thing, so I came in.

I planned on leaving around 2pm, because I had an appointment after work and I had heard that we were supposed to get some snow this afternoon. Then, at 12:30, the word went out that we were closing at 2pm because of the coming storm. I managed to leave at 1:15, but almost immediately regretted it. It took me twenty minutes to get out of the parking garage. It then took me another twenty to resign myself to the fact that it would take me at least another hour to get to the actual road. I spent another twenty minutes getting to a place where I could pull into one of our parking lots.

Many of my coworkers never bothered trying to leave. They knew how horrible it could be trying to get anywhere when Boston declared a snow emergency during the workday. Most of those with reasonable sense started leaving around 4pm. It's after 5pm, and I'm still sitting here in the office.

The problem is: my back. I can take about 60 minutes in the car before my back starts to seize up on me. Current estimates for highway traffic from my location to the NH state line are about 120 minutes (a 30 minute trip during non-rush hour, a 50 minute trip during 'normal' rush hour). Plus, it'd probably take me at least 20 minutes to get to the highway right now.

I typically take alternate routes anyway, which normally costs me about 30 minutes during rush hour. If the multiplier is the same for the alternate routes as the highways, it's probably a 75-90 minute trip on the alternate roads ... if they are safe and passable.

Once I hit the state line, it's usually another 20 minutes to my house. I'm guessing that it's 35-45 minutes from the state line to my house from the traffic reports I am reading for the highway conditions at the state line.

So, optimistically, if I leave right now and take the alternate route, it's at least 110 minutes. (Assuming the back roads are in fair condition.) For the highway route, it's probably about 160 minutes.

Therefore, I sit here and wait. My back is already stressed and spasming slightly. No need to rush into a situation that I can't dive out of easily (very few places to pull over to and take a break on either route).

I think less than 1% of our staff are still in the building right now. Minorities rule!?!?!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The "duh" of physical therapy

I'm having a pretty stressful time at work right now. The huge project I am in charge of is about to be cut over, and all 3000+ staff will be forced to use it. No pressure not to F it up, or anything. Today, a mere week before launch, a major gotcha came to light. I plan on recommending that we delay launch for another three weeks while we address it appropriately, and not slam together some half-baked response that will merely cause more issues. (Foolish of me, I know.)

This evening I had a physical therapy appointment. My PT, who I've been working with for over a year, postulated that stress could be a contributing factor in the myriad muscular pains I suffer from. I nearly laughed myself off the table. Then I sarcastically tapped my head and said, "Hmmmm.... Stress might be a factor in the multitudes of seemingly unrelated pains throughout my body? (pause) Wow! (pause) I NEVER considered that before!" He and I have a great relationship, so we had a good time with the whole thing.

Did you know that oranges are often times orange?