A blight removed

We live in a relatively quiet condo community. About two thirds of the homes are owner-occupied. Most of the renters are good people and make good neighbors. The rents are not cheap ($1300-1700 for a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath in southern NH). That probably accounts for the relative placidity of the community.

Unfortunately, that changed this summer when a single mother and her three 'children' moved in across the street. My first encounter with the family was when the oldest 'child', a young woman of about 19, tried to strike up a conversation with me one morning as I was leaving to go to work. At 07:00 the girl was hyper, her pupils were dilated, and she didn't take several not-so-subtle hints that I was in a hurry. She was being pulled down the street by a five pound puppy. Really. Pulled. The girl had badly cut home-bleached hair and trashy eye makeup on. I later found out that the girl had been arrested just outside our community, for evading an assault warrant in MA.

The youngest 'child' is a boy of eleven or twelve. He spent his summer bullying younger children in the neighborhood and throwing rocks at animals. He's a husky kid with a very strange buzz hair cut. An adult in the neighborhood chastised him for his behavior and the kid flipped him off and ran down the street. He was recently banned from riding the school bus for his behavior.

The middle boy is relatively quiet in comparison, though I've seen him come and go at odd hours with other teens in cars. Grendel says this boy never speaks to anyone on the bus stop and doesn't make eye contact.

The family owns a pretty old aqua striped Chevy pickup truck. They typically park it so that it's tires cross into the adjoining home's parking space. Once, they even left the truck's doors open when they went inside, forcing their neighbor to have to get out and close the doors so she could squeeze into her parking space. They had been inside for about ten minutes, and didn't bother to come out after the woman was able to park her car.

They speed in and out of the development with no concern for the speed bumps and the pedestrian traffic in the community. (The girl was so busy yelling at one of her brothers one day that she wasn't looking forward as she drove, and nearly hit me.)

I was home from work today. As I sat at my desk I noted some activity over at their house. This is not unusual, since there always seems to be something going on over there. I looked out the window to see their truck and another backed up in front of their house, loaded with furnishings. I watched for a few minutes and was THRILLED to see they were bringing stuff out of the house. I also noted that it was a school day and both boys were home at 09:00.

I walked over to a neighbor's house and asked her if she'd noted the activity. She told me that she had heard two weeks ago that they were moving out. Apparently, the youngest one's issues warranted a change in school districts.

My neighbor and I joked that maybe we should throw a little party. I don't want to sound like a snob, but these folks are trash, pure and simple. I am thrilled to see them go. I grew up in a home of meager means with lots of friends who were equally challenged, economically speaking. However, we all behaved with consideration to our neighbors. The parents in my neighborhood would never have put up with some of the behavior we have seen from the kids across the street. And, being a single-parent family is no excuse. About half the families I grew up with were single-parent families. That's no excuse for poor behavior and general bad manners.

So, farewell folks! Perhaps having to move because one of your kids crossed the line will encourage you to clean up your act in the next town. But, then again, maybe not.

Rules, guidelines, order, and logic - minor examples

Some would say that I have a heightened attention to detail. Still others would uncharitably call my anal retentive. My own husband teases me about my 'rules'. Apparently, I have rules for a number of things, in his opinion.

I don't know if they are all 'rules'. Some precepts are just guidelines, which I cannot fathom why others don't appreciate the logic of.

Let's take a minor situational example. Virtually every work day, I go to the gym at lunch time. The women's locker room is a a series of alcoves. There are plenty of lockers, and there are storage areas under the lockers for shoes and gym bags that might not easily fit within the lockers themselves.

Guideline #1: Do not leave your belongings strewn about the floor or on the bench when there is plenty of room underneath the lockers to stash your stuff. Leaving your belongings on the floor or on the bench inconveniences other patrons of the locker room.

Guideline #2: If there are two paths to get to your spot in the alcove, and both paths are obstructed by other patrons, take the path that inconveniences the 'more clothed' patron. It is highly inconsiderate to try to brush past a nearly naked person in order to get to your spot, when you could have brushed past a nearly clothed individual.

Guideline #3: Do not engage in a cell phone conversation in the midst of other patrons who are in various states of undress and are in a hurry to either get to their workout or get back to their duties. Having a conversation in the midst of disinterested naked people is second only to have a cell phone conversation in a toilet stall next to some one else in a toilet stall who is trying to take care of their own delicate business as privately as possible.

Guideline #4: Do not 'shower' yourself in highly scented lotions or perfumes in close proximity to others. They may not share your appreciation of the scent you have chosen to drown yourself in, and they cannot easily escape its 'charms'.

Guideline #5: Do not engage in any loud conversation in the presence of other partially dressed patrons that you are not willing to have them join in. If you are willing to have a conversation in front of their semi-nakedness, you are obviously willing to allow them to participate in the conversation. Semi-nakedness is a vulnerable state. Engaging in a conversation in front of someone in such a state is an admission of intimacy you may not intend. If you do not intend to become more intimate with your semi-naked fellow patrons, keep your conversations brief and uninviting.

Guideline #6: If people are in various states of undress, do not engage in conversation with them unless you know them very well. If you do find yourself engaged in conversation with someone who is getting undressed or dressed, make sure to either avert your eyes or only look at their eyes, not the rest of their semi (or completely un-) dressed form.

Guideline #7: DUH! Pick up after yourself. Leave the area at least as orderly as you found it. Pick up your towels. Close your locker when you are done. Through your trash away. ... Grow up!


These are just a few of the guidelines that I live with and by each day. Perhaps I'll share more of my anal retentive wisdom as situations arise that remind me how many humans could use a refresher course on manners and proper interpersonal behavior.