Sorry, all. I'm a bit whiny and exhausted. Late last week I picked up a spring cold. I called in sick on Friday, but I feel somewhat compelled to drag myself in for at least part of the day tomorrow.
I haven't been getting enough sleep, being all snuffly and achy. I'm not even all that sleepy right now. But, I know that I am tired. I walked past a mirror earlier this evening and I look like a creature from a George Romero movie (re: "Night of the Living Dead"). I have HUGE dark circles under my eyes.
Work is very stressful right now. A project that I have been working on for almost a year is about to implode. Apparently, the person who put the requirements together was smoking crack, big time. The product we bought to go into production with just isn't going to cut the mustard at this point. On one level I know that it is not my fault. On the other hand, I feel like I should have recognized the issue long ago.
Maybe my body is wallowing in this illness as a means of avoidance. I need to communicate the issue with management, but I REALLY don't want to. A lot was riding on the successful completion of this project. Now, it's kind of a bust. Throwing more money at it might save the situation. However, the person who initially started this project has left the organization, and management was glad to see her go. They'll probably chalk this failure up to her more than me. On the other hand, a lot of people were counting on this project/product being delivered. We needed the tools that it would have given us to improve a lot of processes. Now, we'll probably have to continue to limp by with the inadequate tools we're currently using for at least another six to nine months while we wait for new budget allocations and a project refresh.
At least I'm getting a little chuckle right now as I can clearly hear Han Solo in my head, "It's not my fault!" I just hope my upper management agrees (after the initial knee jerk explosion that usually comes with the presentation of bad news).
Why, oh why, doesn't night time cold medicine make me drowsy?
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3 comments:
That all stinks pretty mightily. Sorry you are feeling so poorly. With luck, it will all look better when you are well again.
Stress can manifest in so many ways and while it's just a cold, being stressed makes it so much worse. I'm sure the "powers that be" will see that you took the helm of an already sinking ship. You can only work with what you were given.
I have a mentor at work. She's fabulous. In a meeting about our next steps with this project, when I said that I felt like I failed at this project she cheerily said, "You did not. This project failed you."
I'm still not owning that attitude, but it brought me closer to acceptance.
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