Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Child proof silliness

I'm sure we've all had at least one frustrating experience with a child-proof medicine cap. The joke is, "if you want to get into a child-proof bottle, just ask a child to open it for you." In point of fact, I know a number of kids that can easily open those things. It's a skill they pick up around age 5 or 6, I think.

Today, I was trying to open such a bottle. It contained lactase tablets, a necessity for those of us who can't ingest milk products without dire side effects. Since I didn't have my glasses on, I was having a hard time lining up the arrows on the cap and bottle. Then, out of the haze of my frustration, it occured to me. Why do lactase tablets need to be child-proofed? If a child were to get into a bottle and ingest all of them, what would happen to them? From what I've read online it's nearly impossible to "overdose" on an enzyme.

Maybe we should put child-proof tops on other things, like alcoholic beverages or high sugar breakfast cereals. Then again, as I joked earlier, most kids over the age of 6 can get into that packaging without a problem.

Maybe what we really needs is adult-proof packaging. What things is it ok for kids to have and not adults? OK, I'm back to the high sugar breakfast cereals for starters. How about anything high in sugar, fat, sodium, or cholesterol. Think about it: adult-proof bacon packaging!!! Adult-proof pickle jars.

What if it were suddenly ilegal for anyone over the age of 21 to buy food that was bad for you. Imagine going to the grocery store and trying to buy a half gallon of Starbucks Espresso Ice Cream. The cashier asks you for ID to prove that you are under 21. Or, anticipating this, you hand your child the money and the booty in the frozen food aisle and ask them to go purchase it for you.

When K and I went out for ice cream on Friday night, he remembered that I was both on a diet and lactose intollerant. As I started to eat my "no sugar added" treat, he suddenly looked at me very seriously and asked, "Are you allowed to have that?" I justified it with its low sugar content, and also noted that I'd taken some lactase before hand. He was somewhat satisfied, but he still gave me a bit of a disapproving glance.

Our kids always act like they know more than us. Wouldn't it be funny if they were the gatekeepers for our unhealthy consumptive habbits?

2 comments:

changejunkie said...

Listen to http://www.aclu.org/pizza/ for a vision of the future... where you can't get things that are bad for you.

briwei said...

Oooooh. I like that concept. Of course, it would be the end of the pop-top tin can.

Sorry, you're too old for that bag of oreos. Vending machines would be a challenge.